a_penny_saved

A Penny Saved

Are you as tired as I am of companies gypping themselves out of a penny? With all of the bankruptcies and store closings, it seems like businesses should do everything they can to try to survive. And what better place to start than by getting rid of the penny discount they give us, their beloved consumers, for all of their sales?

Think about it. Everything out there is for sale with prices like Big Macs for $1.99, televisions for $499.99, toasters for $29.99. I’ve even seen cars priced at $19,999.99.

Why do they do it? It’s obvious, isn’t it?

They’re just trying to help us, their customer.

They realize that if we save a penny on every sale, then we are more likely than ever to respond with mad impulse buying.

So, I guess, in a small way they are benefiting themselves. But that’s just incidental, I’m sure. No way is it greed.

And they surely aren’t trying to fool us into thinking something is substantially cheaper than it really is, just by knocking a penny off it, right?

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

No way they could think we’re that stupid.

I just think it’s wonderful that they are looking out for us this way. I mean, think about it, if I save just two million pennies I’ll be able to pay cash for a car priced at $19,999.99. And I’ll still have that extra penny left over, so that I can start saving for something else. Isn’t this great? Think about the benefits to the economy.

But things are tough now, and I think it’s important that we consider giving back for all their years of generosity. Think about how much money companies have lost over the years, gypping themselves out of a penny for each and every thing they sell. They must have sacrificed trillions of dollars by now.

I think we ought to start giving back! So, effective immediately, I’m calling for a national campaign where we all agree to spend that extra penny, to help save free-enterprise as we know it.

So let’s tell them, consumers! Let’s tell them that it’s okay to call it a $20,000 car. We’ll pay the extra penny! We’ll do it, yes we will, because we care.