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Humor Author Norm Cowie's website

    Why do we eat chickens, but not roosters? 

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copyright 2006-16, and any previous years, next year, the year after, etc.  
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Rejected cover. I liked it, but it didn't work for the story.
old, or olde covers
I was in these two anthologies 
What they say ...

"I loved this book, fangs and all." New York Times best-selling author James Rollins

"Fantastically funny," BookLoons

"Don't miss this gem." Shane Gericke, national best-selling author

"Genuinely funny..."  Taliesin - The Vampire's Lair

"Norm Cowie has a wicked sense of humor."  Reader's Favorite Book Reviews

"Humorous fantasy at its best..." Armchair Interviews

"LOL Funny!" Beverly at Publisher's Weekly

"No topic is safe from Cowie's incredible wit and entertaining turn of phrase."  Pop Syndicate.

"Hilarious, witty and oozing with snappy sarcasm." 3Rs Bits, Bites & Books.

"Everything is so true, you can't help but laugh in agreement." Roundtable Reviews 

"If Guy, had parents, and he must have had some someplace, they should be Erma Bombeck and Douglas Adams. This book is funny." award-winning author Barbara D'Amato

"...hilarious mishaps..." Joliet Herald News

"...persistently entertaining read from first page to last." Midwest Book Review
My books
My original publishers
Free Stuff!

So please help yourself.

(If you don't like it, remember it was free) 

Norm  quick updates:

Norm was a judge again this year for the 33rd Chicago International Children's Film Festival. He also was a judge in 2013, 2014 & 2015, 2016

See events page for event hi-jinks.

Click here to visit The Humor Writers of America.

Norm's alma mater Western Michigan University showcased Norm's books on their website.

The National Assn of Credit Mgmt published an anthology of Norm's award-winning business articles in 2016.

NACM National article quotes Norm's articles regarding lien law change. click 'Business Stuff'
Double click here to add text.

How to make the wall make sense

Really, imagine how cool a huge wall in Texas would be with solar panels. If we're going to spend the money, let's get some free electricity from it. And we could set up water vending machine stations for the people who tunnel under it, so we get some revenue from that too.

And here's another idea. What about a massive pipe system crisscrossing the US to move water from flooded areas to those that need water? And, unlike oil, if they leak, it's just water. 

Hey all, my first non-fiction book, oh, wait, besides The Guy'd Book (though some of that was made up).

Okay, I'm not going to make a habit of writing non-fiction, but I wrote a new non-fiction book, The Illinois Mechanics Lien Statutes ... and Other Construction Stuff, published by the National Association of Credit Management Midwest. The book release was at their regional conference on October 19-20. Here's what Steven Boren, President of Contractors Adjustment Co said about it, "Norm provides a wonderful,thoughtful and humorous overview of the Illinois Mechanics Lien Act. Valuable reading for all in the construction industry."

Yeah, and I might pick on attorneys a little bit on the way. Click here to buy 

Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump

I recently taught a writing workshop for children at Elgin Community College, and learned that kids, or at least these kids in particular, were highly politically aware .. no, not aware.. charged.

The kids ran anywhere from 10-14 years of age, and they had been following Donald Trump's bigoted xenophobia with fear, anger and dislike. 

At one point, I had them write lyrics,and one of the girls (yes, Trump seems to have alienated girls in particular), wrote a song called,Trump. The lyrics went something like this: 


Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump
Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump
Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump

So as I read her lyrics out loud, the rest of the kids started 'singing' along, enthusiastically shouting,'Trump, Trump, Trump.'  College kids walking by the classroom looked inside, alarmed at a bunch of pre-teens boisterously chanting Trump's name.

Later I had them write a story where each person would write a single line, and pass to the next person to continue the story. Here's what they came up with, with absolutely no (I repeat, no) input from me:

I'm not as concerned about the future of our kids now as I was before this.

The Repossessor

I'm not a big guy ... 6 ft, 180 lbs of fine tuned swimmer muscle surrounded by fat cells composed mostly of Fannie Mae Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream. But I'm a lot bigger than I was in 1985, when I was .. the Repossessor.

Yep, I used to track down nefarious no-payers, and wrestle from them the car, boat, television set, motorcycle or even homes they used as security to borrow money from us at what I admit now were nearly usurious interest rates ... of course, they don't remotely compare to today's payday loans, which can carry rates as high as 700%.  These rates put the Mob rates to shame, but you can't get politicians to take action, because a bunch of this 700% goes towards buying said politicians.

(Norm, this post isn't remotely funny You're ranting about politics again.)

Ah, myself is right again. Moving on, I was rifling through my desk the other day and came across my repossessor license. Yep, it's a real thing, even though it does have way too many 's's in its spelling. Anyway, here's what it looked like:

If you want to comment or read more blogs, click below to go to my blog site.  
  I don't care what they say, if I see someone sleepwalking, I'm waking them up.
Does fill dirt feel 'disrespected' by top soil?
Can flies hear?(Obviously they can't smell, because, well, you know, they land on poop.)