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Humor Author Norm Cowie's website

Why do we eat chickens, but not roosters? 

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What they say ...

"I loved this book, fangs and all." New York Times best-selling author James Rollins

"Fantastically funny," BookLoons

"Don't miss this gem." Shane Gericke, national best-selling author

"Genuinely funny..."  Taliesin - The Vampire's Lair

"Norm Cowie has a wicked sense of humor."  Reader's Favorite Book Reviews

"Humorous fantasy at its best..." Armchair Interviews

"LOL Funny!" Beverly at Publisher's Weekly

"No topic is safe from Cowie's incredible wit and entertaining turn of phrase."  Pop Syndicate.

"Hilarious, witty and oozing with snappy sarcasm." 3Rs Bits, Bites & Books.

"Everything is so true, you can't help but laugh in agreement." Roundtable Reviews 

"If Guy, had parents, and he must have had some someplace, they should be Erma Bombeck and Douglas Adams. This book is funny." award-winning author Barbara D'Amato

"...hilarious mishaps..." Joliet Herald News

"...persistently entertaining read from first page to last." Midwest Book Review
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Norm  quick updates:

Norm was a judge in the  2013, 2014 & 2015 Chicago International Children's Firm Festival.

See events page for event hi-jinks.

Click here to visit The Humor Writers of America.

Norm's alma mater Western Michigan University showcased Norm's books on their website.

The National Assn of Credit Mgmt will publish an anthology of Norm's award-winning business articles in 2016.

NACM National article quotes Norm's articles regarding lien law change. click 'Business Stuff'


Smudges

I  noticed the smudges on the wall in the warehouse restroom at work, but never really thought much of them ... or bothered to closely examine them.  I figured it was normal warehouse dirt...

 ... until this appeared: 























I've been practicing my empathy lately, so I tried to imagine what would go through this guy's head ... wait, how do we know it was a guy?  It's entirely possible that one of the women from the office would come back here rather than use the cleaner, exclusively-for-women restroom in the office, but not willing to spread boogers in their lounge.  

So I looked around. If a woman was sitting on the toilet, mining for boogers and wiping them on the wall instead of using the very convenient toilet paper all rolled up and ready, all of the boogers would be within arm's length of the toilet while sitting.

Aha! There were many that were well out of reach! But definitely within reach of a standing guy, who, I forgot to mention, often doesn't bother to lift the toilet seat before peeing. But that's another post. 

Our culprit was definitely a guy. And someone who wants to show his disdain for either his employers, or his fellow employees. So what would motivate a person to be mad at his employers? Maybe he didn't think he made enough money. Who did I know that doesn't make enough money?  

Me.  

Hmmm, was I the culprit?  I frowned, studying one of the boogers carefully. Nope, the smudges were much thicker than what I would make. I mean, my hands aren't like Donald Trump's, but they're the right size for me.

So I was ruled out. The women were ruled out. That left about fifty possible suspects.

I wondered, could it be the guy who never flushes the urinal? It was always a joy to show up to pee and see a frothy yellow stinky liquid pooled in the bottom of the urinal.

Or was it the guy who uses twenty paper towels every time instead of one of two, causing us to run out of towels near the end of the day. Nah, I'm sure booger-guy doesn't bother to wash his hands. He probably loads up a finger with booger, picks up some more toxic niceties when he wipes, and then just leaves with all of this on his hands.

Then he proceeds to go touch the coffee maker, the copy machine, the refrigerator door, maybe other people's lunches, the door ...

I looked at the door knob, all innocent and covered with feces, pee droplets and boogers.

My head snapped around to the paper towel holder. Empty. Twenty-papertowel guy beat me to it. And I realized...

I'm trapped!








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